July 6, 2012

July 6, 2012

     I want to talk about my first memory of facing off with a spider. I was seven years old. It was the beginning of fall and I had decided to help my Dad cut some firewood for winter. I grew up with a wood stove heating my home and it was such a big deal when my parents were able to get a gas furnace; it meant no more cutting firewood! Anyway, I was in charge of piling the twigs and branches and I was working so hard until….I threw a limb onto an old pile of branches, I stumbled into the pile and before I knew it I was nose-to-nose with a Banana Spider!! You know the kind; big, black, yellow, nasty buggers! I screamed so loud and that was the end of my firewood helping days. For the longest time I could not pinpoint why I was so afraid of spiders until I was told by someone that there had to be some tragic event that caused me to be scared of them. That’s when I remembered this day cutting wood with my Dad. I just remember how the web looked, all zigzagged and creepy, and THEN the gigantic spider contained in the web. Why hadn’t I ever noticed these spiders before? Was it because I wasn’t afraid before this incident? Afterwards, I would see them everywhere: On round haybales in the barn, on my Grandparents front porch, in my Mom’s garden. It’s like I wasn’t safe anymore. I had to always be on alert for these disgusting creatures. I couldn’t ever relax. Even now, as an adult, I can’t seem to weed my flowers, or mow around my trees without the constant thought going through my head: “Is there any spiders lurking around here?”